Saturday, April 21, 2007
* The Worst Advice I've Ever Received
Colossians 4:5-6 (NIV), "Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."
No, the paragraph above is not the worst advice I've ever received. It is however just the opposite of the worst advice I've ever received. I will lead up to telling you this bad advice by giving you the BEST advice I believe I can:
DO NOT limit yourself. DO NOT hold yourself to only one thing, one career or one dream. Try as MANY things as you believe that you have a mind to do. Experience EVERYTHING that life has to offer -- including the hard, sad and rough times -- because those times lead to more fully experiencing the better times. Cliche alert: Variety is the spice of life.
"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly...who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who have never known neither victory nor defeat." -Teddy Roosevelt
When I went to the career counseling center to make an attempt at selecting a path to follow at FSU, the meeting went long. Way long.
Unfortunately for the career counselor, my interests are too wide and too deep to be contained in one simple to follow path of pre-requisites, majors, minors, core credit hours and other higher-ed red-tape gobbledeegook. Fortunately though, she seemed to have been faced with this before as indicated by her swiss-army-knife-like ability to proffer a new profile sheet for each of a dozen different major courses of study that outlined core and elective courses virtually as quickly as I could name them.
And then one floated to the top (Information Studies) with the promise that I could bend it to fit whatever path I wanted to take. I mean, what does "Information Studies" really mean anyway? THAT sounds nebulous and intangible enough to be perceived on the outside as a worthwhile endeavour. Gorgeous. Wrap it, pack it and ship it. I'm buying what you're selling Mrs. Career Counselorette. Slap a General Communication minor on it and call it done. No. Stick a fork in it and call it WELL done.
Not only were these courses of study wide enough to encompass my interests (for the most part) but the courses inside of each ranged from Advertising to Films of Spielberg to Computer Programming.
No, this is not a blow by blow, play by play of the last 10 years of my life. Don't pop any popcorn. It won't be as boring as being subjected to watching someone's home movies.
Who was your favorite teacher? Most likely, though we don't like to admit to it at the time, it was the teacher that was the most hard edged, demanding, diverse, exciting, and rigorous teacher you ever had. One cannot truly teach without experiences to glean from. And when one begins to teach, one truly finds out what one really knows about a subject. Even if a high school history teacher once had a job as a secret service agent, a fast food sub sandwich maker, coached little league, and spent time in the armed services -- of which each have relatively nothing to do with "History" -- all of those experiences will give a unique perspective on that teacher's ability to relate to and interact with the students. Which will then potentially inspire them onward in their educational endeavors.
Professor Loganathan whose life was taken in the shooting at Virginia Tech last week, was just this kind of teacher. He engaged. He entertained - sometimes with self-deprecating humor. He debated - eloquently.
From a report on CNN.com: "He cared about his students as if they were his own children, fretting about their grades, making sure they understood the concepts," said Loganathan's wife, Usha, her voice breaking. "To the last minute, he loved teaching."
In the 1988 movie "Stand and Deliver" (based on a true story) a dedicated teacher inspires his dropout-prone students to learn calculus to build up their self-esteem. They end up doing so well that they are accused of cheating. Mr. Escalante was a mathematics teacher in a school in a hispanic neighborhood. Convinced that his students have potential, he adopts unconventional teaching methods to try and turn gang members and no-hopers into some of the country's top algebra and calculus students.
Who has ever seen something in you that you can't see yourself? DON'T blow these observations off as happenstance. This is a further indication as to why God has engineered our interactions to be interdependent.
15 years ago, an english teacher (who then several years later passed away from ALS / Lou Gherig's Disease) saw in me a speaking / acting / narrating talent. I still have the letter she wrote to me on this topic - a unique letter she wrote to each student in her final class. It is now framed and sits beside my mirror that I use to get ready each day or to get ready for an audition. To remind me that THAT is what I am supposed to be doing since it has taken me that long to come to terms with it. What I would tell her now if I could. And the best way for me to honor that, now that I realize that she was right, is to ACT on it (no pun intended) and give it the best effort that I can.
So, the worst advice I've ever received. "Jeremy, you need to find one thing and stick to it. You're spreading yourself too thin." This intones the exact opposite of what my two loving parents told me for the entirety of my youth -- "Jeremy, we believe that you can do anything you put your mind to."
Let me tell you. I've been spread thin before. And this is most certainly, unequivocally not it.
If I was not to be someone who wanted to try everything and squeeze it all in and get absolutely everything that he could out of this life, then God would not have organized my DNA in such a way that I am someone who wants to try everything and squeeze it all in and get absolutely everything that he can out of this life.
I am bouncing back from this bad advice and I am moving forward. I am embracing that that makes me who I am. I am doing it all -- and working my way closer to my calling in the meantime -- and making no apologies to ANYONE anymore about this.
One day, you find yourself taking this advice of (CLICHE ALERT) putting all of your eggs in one basket. And then the next day you find yourself picking up the pieces -- whatever pieces there are left to be picked up -- from having invested your entire life and savings into "Enron." One day, you're checking your retirement fund and the kids pre-paid college fund to see how it is progressing and then the next day you awaken to find that some dirtbag scum-sucking corporate executives have absconded with your financial future.
One of which (Kenneth Lay of Enron fame) has already died. They say it was "coronary artery disease." I'm sure that regardless of whatever they "diagnosed" it as, that it stemmed from stress. Can YOU imagine the stress of ruining the lives of that many people who had put their trust in you? I'm sure his pastor father -- if he were still alive -- would be proud of him. And they say stress doesn't kill...
Every investment advisor -- who's worth a damn -- tells us to DIVERSIFY OUR PORTFOLIOS. Why? Because sooner or later one or more of our holdings will take off.
Mutual Funds are so attractive because they spread the risk (and investment return potential) out over an entire littany of stock holdings for long term security. And all of these poor souls put everything they had into Enron. And this has happened time and time again.
I will not put my entire skillset and career potential into just ONE basket. I will be light on my feet with diversity in my quiver. And there hasn't been a time yet when experience that I've had in one area has not come into play with giving me something I can tap into to bring positive influence to a completely different area.
So where does this diversity leave me today? It leaves me in a state of freedom and peace. It leaves me light on my feet. Ready to change directions and grab the next big opportunity by the tail. It leaves me in a state of flexibility that gives me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 1/4 days a year of being able to do exactly what I want. My life's bank account contains 31,557,600 seconds per year that I can spend gloriously and thankfully. And that is worth more than having a million dollars in the bank. Many times over.
Of course, I have my responsibilites that I have to uphold. And, upholding these responsibilites is edifying - to myself and to my God. And those that I am responsible to, know that in the vast majority of instances, that I do what it is that I say that I'm going to do. And because of this, they know that if a particular instance arises that takes me out of my everyday routine and focuses my attention towards a different commitment, that it is something I need to uphold. They grant that freedom to me, and I am thankful for it.
And where will this diversity leave me in ten years -- or sooner? It leaves me still in a state of freedom and peace -- to an even greater degree. It leaves me free to dip into my bank account of time for the family I will one day have so that I can be there always. It leaves me free to dip into my bank account of time to thus be there to affect change and to give myself to others freely and wholeheartedly as God would have me to do. The only important things in this life are finding and fulfilling your destiny and building relationships along the way. That makes us who we are and it is the ONLY thing that lasts.
A 1,000 piece puzzle is not complete until the last piece is in place. It may look complete with just one piece or 5 pieces missing. But it will nag you to no end if you get to the end and there is that one piece not found. All that work! To be cut off at the pass before full completion.
Use the puzzle as a metaphor for all manner of paths and life experiences that we attempt. Maybe you have to try 999 different things to find where you fit. Or maybe its that 1,000th piece that completes the puzzle of your life to allow you to sink in to the place where your destiny is fulfilled. There's nothing like finding that last perfect puzzle piece, lining it up perfectly, and pressing it into perfect place. So it is with our lives.
All of those attempts at locking the right pieces into place may have been frustrating -- and may have delayed the ultimate completion of the puzzle. But they weren't all for naught, because the puzzle is finally done.
Sometimes we get so bound up that we don't know which step to take next. We don't know which piece to put in place next. But its better to be headed in the wrong direction and make a turn or follow a curve to where we're supposed to be than to stand on square one of Candyland just hoping to make it to the Gingerbread House at the end.
God uses our mis-steps and swerves and curves and running off of the road and yes, even backsliding to ultimately - and maybe ironically - move us..... forward.
Which leads to the final point.
Its impossible for God to direct your steps if you're standing still.
This is some other of my own advice that I have to be reminded of in my own life on a regular basis. I rarely know what the ultimate outcome will be, but I know that I'm taking steps to get there.
Each new experience is a form of thanksgiving for being taken out of my comfort zone.
I now look forward to change, in fact, I now thrive on it, due to all of the positive things that ultimately come out of it.
Each puzzle piece set in perfect place is one step closer.
My place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who have never known neither victory nor defeat. My place is to sprinkle, or pour, or bring dump-truck-loads of salt everywhere I go.
Each opportunity that you make the most of makes God smile because He knows that each little opportunity that you give your all to will prepare you to handle the big ones with grace.
Be well this week and embrace your opportunities head on with all the vigor you can muster. They are not there just by chance.
Have a strong day.
No, the paragraph above is not the worst advice I've ever received. It is however just the opposite of the worst advice I've ever received. I will lead up to telling you this bad advice by giving you the BEST advice I believe I can:
DO NOT limit yourself. DO NOT hold yourself to only one thing, one career or one dream. Try as MANY things as you believe that you have a mind to do. Experience EVERYTHING that life has to offer -- including the hard, sad and rough times -- because those times lead to more fully experiencing the better times. Cliche alert: Variety is the spice of life.
"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly...who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who have never known neither victory nor defeat." -Teddy Roosevelt
When I went to the career counseling center to make an attempt at selecting a path to follow at FSU, the meeting went long. Way long.
Unfortunately for the career counselor, my interests are too wide and too deep to be contained in one simple to follow path of pre-requisites, majors, minors, core credit hours and other higher-ed red-tape gobbledeegook. Fortunately though, she seemed to have been faced with this before as indicated by her swiss-army-knife-like ability to proffer a new profile sheet for each of a dozen different major courses of study that outlined core and elective courses virtually as quickly as I could name them.
And then one floated to the top (Information Studies) with the promise that I could bend it to fit whatever path I wanted to take. I mean, what does "Information Studies" really mean anyway? THAT sounds nebulous and intangible enough to be perceived on the outside as a worthwhile endeavour. Gorgeous. Wrap it, pack it and ship it. I'm buying what you're selling Mrs. Career Counselorette. Slap a General Communication minor on it and call it done. No. Stick a fork in it and call it WELL done.
Not only were these courses of study wide enough to encompass my interests (for the most part) but the courses inside of each ranged from Advertising to Films of Spielberg to Computer Programming.
No, this is not a blow by blow, play by play of the last 10 years of my life. Don't pop any popcorn. It won't be as boring as being subjected to watching someone's home movies.
Who was your favorite teacher? Most likely, though we don't like to admit to it at the time, it was the teacher that was the most hard edged, demanding, diverse, exciting, and rigorous teacher you ever had. One cannot truly teach without experiences to glean from. And when one begins to teach, one truly finds out what one really knows about a subject. Even if a high school history teacher once had a job as a secret service agent, a fast food sub sandwich maker, coached little league, and spent time in the armed services -- of which each have relatively nothing to do with "History" -- all of those experiences will give a unique perspective on that teacher's ability to relate to and interact with the students. Which will then potentially inspire them onward in their educational endeavors.
Professor Loganathan whose life was taken in the shooting at Virginia Tech last week, was just this kind of teacher. He engaged. He entertained - sometimes with self-deprecating humor. He debated - eloquently.
From a report on CNN.com: "He cared about his students as if they were his own children, fretting about their grades, making sure they understood the concepts," said Loganathan's wife, Usha, her voice breaking. "To the last minute, he loved teaching."
In the 1988 movie "Stand and Deliver" (based on a true story) a dedicated teacher inspires his dropout-prone students to learn calculus to build up their self-esteem. They end up doing so well that they are accused of cheating. Mr. Escalante was a mathematics teacher in a school in a hispanic neighborhood. Convinced that his students have potential, he adopts unconventional teaching methods to try and turn gang members and no-hopers into some of the country's top algebra and calculus students.
Who has ever seen something in you that you can't see yourself? DON'T blow these observations off as happenstance. This is a further indication as to why God has engineered our interactions to be interdependent.
15 years ago, an english teacher (who then several years later passed away from ALS / Lou Gherig's Disease) saw in me a speaking / acting / narrating talent. I still have the letter she wrote to me on this topic - a unique letter she wrote to each student in her final class. It is now framed and sits beside my mirror that I use to get ready each day or to get ready for an audition. To remind me that THAT is what I am supposed to be doing since it has taken me that long to come to terms with it. What I would tell her now if I could. And the best way for me to honor that, now that I realize that she was right, is to ACT on it (no pun intended) and give it the best effort that I can.
So, the worst advice I've ever received. "Jeremy, you need to find one thing and stick to it. You're spreading yourself too thin." This intones the exact opposite of what my two loving parents told me for the entirety of my youth -- "Jeremy, we believe that you can do anything you put your mind to."
Let me tell you. I've been spread thin before. And this is most certainly, unequivocally not it.
If I was not to be someone who wanted to try everything and squeeze it all in and get absolutely everything that he could out of this life, then God would not have organized my DNA in such a way that I am someone who wants to try everything and squeeze it all in and get absolutely everything that he can out of this life.
I am bouncing back from this bad advice and I am moving forward. I am embracing that that makes me who I am. I am doing it all -- and working my way closer to my calling in the meantime -- and making no apologies to ANYONE anymore about this.
One day, you find yourself taking this advice of (CLICHE ALERT) putting all of your eggs in one basket. And then the next day you find yourself picking up the pieces -- whatever pieces there are left to be picked up -- from having invested your entire life and savings into "Enron." One day, you're checking your retirement fund and the kids pre-paid college fund to see how it is progressing and then the next day you awaken to find that some dirtbag scum-sucking corporate executives have absconded with your financial future.
One of which (Kenneth Lay of Enron fame) has already died. They say it was "coronary artery disease." I'm sure that regardless of whatever they "diagnosed" it as, that it stemmed from stress. Can YOU imagine the stress of ruining the lives of that many people who had put their trust in you? I'm sure his pastor father -- if he were still alive -- would be proud of him. And they say stress doesn't kill...
Every investment advisor -- who's worth a damn -- tells us to DIVERSIFY OUR PORTFOLIOS. Why? Because sooner or later one or more of our holdings will take off.
Mutual Funds are so attractive because they spread the risk (and investment return potential) out over an entire littany of stock holdings for long term security. And all of these poor souls put everything they had into Enron. And this has happened time and time again.
I will not put my entire skillset and career potential into just ONE basket. I will be light on my feet with diversity in my quiver. And there hasn't been a time yet when experience that I've had in one area has not come into play with giving me something I can tap into to bring positive influence to a completely different area.
So where does this diversity leave me today? It leaves me in a state of freedom and peace. It leaves me light on my feet. Ready to change directions and grab the next big opportunity by the tail. It leaves me in a state of flexibility that gives me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 1/4 days a year of being able to do exactly what I want. My life's bank account contains 31,557,600 seconds per year that I can spend gloriously and thankfully. And that is worth more than having a million dollars in the bank. Many times over.
Of course, I have my responsibilites that I have to uphold. And, upholding these responsibilites is edifying - to myself and to my God. And those that I am responsible to, know that in the vast majority of instances, that I do what it is that I say that I'm going to do. And because of this, they know that if a particular instance arises that takes me out of my everyday routine and focuses my attention towards a different commitment, that it is something I need to uphold. They grant that freedom to me, and I am thankful for it.
And where will this diversity leave me in ten years -- or sooner? It leaves me still in a state of freedom and peace -- to an even greater degree. It leaves me free to dip into my bank account of time for the family I will one day have so that I can be there always. It leaves me free to dip into my bank account of time to thus be there to affect change and to give myself to others freely and wholeheartedly as God would have me to do. The only important things in this life are finding and fulfilling your destiny and building relationships along the way. That makes us who we are and it is the ONLY thing that lasts.
A 1,000 piece puzzle is not complete until the last piece is in place. It may look complete with just one piece or 5 pieces missing. But it will nag you to no end if you get to the end and there is that one piece not found. All that work! To be cut off at the pass before full completion.
Use the puzzle as a metaphor for all manner of paths and life experiences that we attempt. Maybe you have to try 999 different things to find where you fit. Or maybe its that 1,000th piece that completes the puzzle of your life to allow you to sink in to the place where your destiny is fulfilled. There's nothing like finding that last perfect puzzle piece, lining it up perfectly, and pressing it into perfect place. So it is with our lives.
All of those attempts at locking the right pieces into place may have been frustrating -- and may have delayed the ultimate completion of the puzzle. But they weren't all for naught, because the puzzle is finally done.
Sometimes we get so bound up that we don't know which step to take next. We don't know which piece to put in place next. But its better to be headed in the wrong direction and make a turn or follow a curve to where we're supposed to be than to stand on square one of Candyland just hoping to make it to the Gingerbread House at the end.
God uses our mis-steps and swerves and curves and running off of the road and yes, even backsliding to ultimately - and maybe ironically - move us..... forward.
Which leads to the final point.
Its impossible for God to direct your steps if you're standing still.
This is some other of my own advice that I have to be reminded of in my own life on a regular basis. I rarely know what the ultimate outcome will be, but I know that I'm taking steps to get there.
Each new experience is a form of thanksgiving for being taken out of my comfort zone.
I now look forward to change, in fact, I now thrive on it, due to all of the positive things that ultimately come out of it.
Each puzzle piece set in perfect place is one step closer.
My place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who have never known neither victory nor defeat. My place is to sprinkle, or pour, or bring dump-truck-loads of salt everywhere I go.
Each opportunity that you make the most of makes God smile because He knows that each little opportunity that you give your all to will prepare you to handle the big ones with grace.
Be well this week and embrace your opportunities head on with all the vigor you can muster. They are not there just by chance.
Have a strong day.
