J Bravo's Training For Life

So when is the last time your feelings were hurt? Probably, too recently.

Here's the deal:

If you give others the power to hurt your feelings, -- then they have control in your life.

If you give others control in your life, -- then they can manipulate your thoughts, feelings and ultimately - your actions.

If you allow others to manipulate your actions, -- then more and more of your life leaves God's will and becomes the will of others.

If you give up your life and your will to others, -- and not to God, then you are abandoning your gifts and the calling on your life for the fulfillment of your destiny and subjecting yourself to the rollercoaster ride of emotion and whim in the lives of other people.

I got off of the rollercoaster ride of emotion and indecision a long time ago. When you
come over the hill on the coaster track of life, and the bottom drops out, and your
hands are thrust into the air, what will you hang on to? Have you ever have one of
those dreams where you feel like you're falling and can't stop yourself?

Terrifying.
Helpless.
Hopeless.

The next time your rollercoaster comes to a stop, I recommend you follow suit by
getting off of this ride, and your life will never be the same again -- it will be better.

Theres nothing wrong with accountability and having some other select people in our
life to help keep us on track. Accountability keeps us, well, accountable. It helps us
by not only allowing us to open up to others in a safe way, but others can see into our
lives easier than we can sometimes. It helps us, among many things, to make sure
that while we're in the middle of seeking our dreams and living life the way we believe
we should, that we're also not doing that at the expense of others.

And I said "select" people. Not anyone and everyone. You can't expose the personal
calling, your heart's desire to anyone and everyone. People are very free to give
advice - everyone, including myself. And people are also willing and ready to call your
dreams down and bring you to their level of disappointment with the fact that they
haven't achieved their OWN dreams due to bitterness, contempt or some other sour
root in their lives.

I certainly don't put psychobabble in front of God's leading in my life, but Maslow and
his "hierarchy of needs" has a certain ring of truth to it of late. When your basic needs
are met and dealt with, you are more free to be a blessing to others. When you've
stripped everything away (or been stripped of everything) and have learned to be at
peace with where you've been placed, you are more free to genuinely interact with
others on a root level when the other party doesn't feel that they need to "buy what
you're selling" because there is nothing to buy. Its all free. The walls come down
because there are no expectations. Because its all genuine.

Why is Bill Murray required to repeat February 2nd, over and over again in "Groundhog
Day?" He's required to repeat it over and over and over and over until he learns that
his life is not about him. He's required to repeat it over and over and over until he
learns that its about love and giving freely and selflessly of himself to others -- and
the catch: without expecting anything in return. And when he DOES finally realize this
on the 487th re-run of his own personal Groundhog Day, he is allowed to move forward
- and he really begins to live. Its interesting how 'live' and 'love' are separated by only
one letter. And unfortunately, we don't have the luxury of pressing rewind. We have
to come to that understanding of giving freely of ourselves by living, learning - and
ultimately loving - through spending the "days" in our life's bank account --- and the
next catch: we don't know the balance of how many days we have left on this
"account." Theres no 24 hour number to call or website to visit that will tell you your
balance, thus the making the most of each day should be our only goal.

There is something that you're expected to do. Period. Someone needs what YOU
have to offer. Specifically, they NEED the gift that you have to give when you follow
and fulfill your dream(s). Whether that be something that they specifically receive
from you related to your fulfilling your dream or whether that be their simply being
inspired by you following your dream(s) that they can then do the same in their life.
Either way, if you don't put every ounce of energy that you have into finding your
purpose, the sin lies in the fact that you are withholding from others the power that is
supposed to flow through you when you are true to yourself.

And now we have TiVO. Yet another distraction based on television. Now, not only
can we watch TV more conveniently, but we can cram 33% more into our heads in the
same amount of time after deleting commercials. (Everyone knows a half-hour show
really only yields 20 or so minutes of actual entertainment content and the rest is
there to fuel our consumerism) 33% more murders. 33% more affairs and adultery.
33% more lawlessness. 33% more rebellion of youth against parents and authority.
33% more drug usage. Or maybe the flip side is 33% more good things? 33% more
educational programming and such? If we watch it? But mostly our tv watching
population segment gravitates toward the lurid don't they?

You can either live YOUR life or you can live vicariously through the formulaic and fake
world of "reality tv." What an ironic oxymoron. The successful don't care about who
just got kicked off of the island or what fake purposeless relationship was just spawned
on the Bachelor / Bachelorette.

Why are you here? Why are you reading this? Why are you staying in touch with
people through myspace? Why do we all spend so much time on myspace? Why do
we want to look through old yearbooks and notes to remind ourselves of names that
we can then go search for on myspace so we can then add them as a friend even if
we've not spoken to them in PERSON for 10 years?

THE ANSWER AND THE ONE EXISTENTIAL TRUTH IN THIS BLOG POST WILL
IMMEDIATELY FOLLOW IN THE NEXT PARAGRAPH:

Because we want to be remembered. We want to know that we existed. That we
made a difference. That we left footprints in someone else's life. Or that we made
this planet a better place. Myspace is a "virtual sidewalk" of sorts - the wet cement -
for our generation. And we want to leave our initials in it. One day you wake up and
you're graduating high school without a clue as to where you're headed and then one
day you wake up and realize that tomorrow you are to attend your high school's 10
year reunion and you ask where the time went. You write your name in wet cement
because you want to be validated.

Writing in fresh cement.

Sometimes, there's nothing more exciting than the simple things in life.

Exhilirating.
Fulfilling.
Daring.
Sneaky.
Permanent.

Freshly poured cement is hard to resist.

Use a pencil.
Use a stick.
Use a finger.
Use something.

Let them know you weren't scared to take a chance.

In wet cement or in life.

Make your mark.

Taking a chance to decorate someones "freshly smoothed" cement means that you
might get caught. You might get in trouble - at least temporarily. But regardless, if
you can pull it off, you will be a permanent part of the landscape.

Walking my college campus, I cannot help but notice those that have gone before me
and "left their mark" in the cement.

Where are they now?

Successful in career?
Building into leaders of tomorrow?
Alive?
Musicians?
Entrepreneurs?
Politicians?
Raising families?
Servicepeople defending our right to write in concrete?
Passed on to the next life?
What was their legacy?

I think the draw to make a mark in concrete stems from our quickly fading lives. It
stems from our ingrained desire to know that we were here. And that we made a
difference.

We were here. We helped someone. We succeeded. We fell but got back up. We
grew up. We made something of ourselves. We fell but got back up. We gave to the
poor. We adopted a child. We ran for office. We fell but got back up. We did it with
passion. We lost a loved one. We fell but got back up. We went to war. We beat a
cancer diagnosis. We fell but got back up. We fell but got back up. We fell but got
back up. We fell but got back up. We fell but got back up. We lived. And we died.

I've lost two former high school buddies and a first girlfriend. What would they have
made of this life if it wasn't taken too soon? What will you make of yours?

Our high school had a tradition of a "senior sidewalk" whereby we could pour a new
strip of concrete each year and add our graduates' initials to the campus landscape
permanently. When our school was demolished to build a new medical school for the
Florida State University a couple of us even went so far as to have a discussion about
how to pick up the sidewalk and re-plant it at the newly constructed high school
across town. For various reasons - partially because this was an insane idea and
partially because we had enough life commitments underway to make something like
this impossible - it never materialized. But the sidewalk was such a part of who we
were as students that we didn't want that to be forgotten and left to be covered by
the sands of time.

Use wet cement to remember someone. Thank someone. Memorialize someone. Honor a
mentor. Shamelessly self-promote. Recognize a charity. Start the revolution.

Wet cement knows no countries, borders, skin colors, races, creeds, preferences,
political capital, religions, hairstyles, business objectives, clothings styles, strategery,
unified differentiality, automobiles, material posessions, diseases, afflictions, pretenses,
cell phones, disabilities, frustrations, joys, pains or anything else that we use to
"define" ourselves. It only knows names.

It celebrates our differences and our interwoven existences.

It shows that we have lived, loved and maybe, died.

We are only here for but a short time.
Make it great.
Make it special.
Make it amazing.
Make it sincerely.
Make it while reaching out a hand to help someone else up.
Make it even when the odds are against you.
(hint: they will ALWAYS be against you)
Make it believable.
Make it with passion.
Nothing is accomplished without passion.

Leave it beautiful. Leave it strong. Leave it wiser. Leave it older. Leave your legacy.

Leave your DNA. Leave it well.

Bill Murray in "Groundhog Day" feels the pressure of trying to "save" everyone from
themselves once he knows what will befall them. Many times, people need to learn
from their mistakes and ALL of the time, we can't be Superman. This movie illustrates
why we need God, why we need each other and why we need to feel. All of our lives
are inextricably linked, just like the profiles on myspace. WE cannot save each other,
but we can be there for each other. And in this being there, God is also.

And maybe -- just maybe -- God saves others through us -- but not because of us.

I just read a headline on someone's myspace page that asked, "Am I too old for
myspace?"

To which I reply, "You're never too old for myspace."

You're never too old to write in wet cement.

You're never too old to leave your mark on someone else's life. Start today.

Have a strong life.