Friday, December 02, 2005
Segway. Furthering the downfall of the United States.
Yet another reason for people to NOT exercise. The Segway.
The Segway replaces a perfectly normal and valuable expenditure of energy known as "walking." The term is getting foggier and foggier in people's minds as to what that type of exercise even is. It involves bending the legs at the knees, hips, ankles and placing one foot in front of the other to move oneself forward through life. People rarely will get up and walk for exercise, much less run. And now we have yet another reason to make even walking a "thing of the past." We have enough lazy people, why not make it easier for more to be lazy and increase that segment of our society to the point where they overburden our health care and insurance systems.
Some young student to their parents this holiday season: "OOOOH! Mom and dad! Can i get a Segway for Christmas??!?"
Parents: "No son, we'd like to see you live to be at least 25. We'd like to remind you of a recent popular saying: 'WWJD?' Which means 'What Would Jesus Drive?' You might have seen this on bumper stickers, hats, shirts, bracelets, and many other fine merchandise items available in stores everywhere. Do you think Jesus would be caught dead riding a Segway around the middle eastern flippin' wilderness in sandals and a toga? What kind of example would THAT be?? No, he would be saying, 'I've come to give you life and give you life more abundantly and hold you accountable which means you have to use your God-given blessings of walking and running to receive this abundant life or I will pimp-slap some of you stupid b*tches and keep moving to the next town. I'm here to represent.' So son, head off to bed and when you come down tomorrow morning to open your thanksgiving presents you better be giving thanks for your health because so many in our society do not have it and try to come up with a new list for Christmas. It's only 20-some-odd days away."
You can even attach it to your vehicle such that when you arrive at the mall, you don't even have to walk if you didn't find a spot close to the door! Just hop on the Segway and ride til your little weak heart's content.
These types of companies should have a Health Care System Burden Tax placed on them to offset the damage they are doing in broad stroke to our citizens by marketing and pushing these types of products through slick marketing and branding.
* Yes, our health care system will collapse. Do not be surprised.
* Yes, you will be a victim. Change your lifestyle now - even if you only do it little by little.
* Yes, it will be the downfall of the greatest country in the world that was BUILT ON hard work and fortitude. God save us.
Just yesterday a report on the cable news came out saying that even though American's are constantly bombarded with the need to exercise even MODERATELY for 30 minutes 4 or 5 times a week, we are still not taking action. And then one day, our health care system will be overwhelmed and YOU and I will have to carry the burden of an entire generation (if not multiple generations) of effortless people who have created this for themselves and now we have to pay higher premiums for that. But thats fair right?
Hoping against all hope, we can pray that the cost of entry for a Segway will be a barrier that many will not want to cross. Weighing the options between, "hm, should i spent thousands of dollars to not walk and then have that lead to even many more thousands of dollars in health care costs for myself in the future because I have been so lazy?" or "you know what, should I spend money on something that I can do naturally and for FREE?"
I'm just waiting for the Segway advertisement comparable to a car dealer's. At a car dealer they want you to trade in your old car for a new one! But at a Segway dealer? What can you trade in for one of those? "Come down this weekend to your local Segway shop! Trade in your legs for a two wheeled machine! Don't worry about your legs you won't need them anymore - we offer free amputations on site! Yes, you're a bit closer to being Darth Vader by not having any legs, but he was a Lord among men. You can be too. Plus, all of you lazy people out there are overwhelming the fast growing Restless Leg Syndrome society and we need to help keep their numbers down as they have grown too quickly and cannot handle all of those individuals that are now claming to have restless legs. Please, help us help them with a $1,000 rebate towards your Segway today. Call 1-800-What-Legs-Who-Needs-Them? for the location of your nearest dealer."
THE ONLY CASE A SEGWAY SHOULD BE USED IS IN THE CASE OF SOMEONE WHO IS PHYSICALLY INCAPACITATED AND CANNOT UTILIZE THEIR BODILY / MOTOR FUNCTIONS.
Perhaps someone with Mutiple Sclerosis. ALS. CP. Disabled War Veterans. etc. could benefit best. NOT THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN BLESSED ENOUGH TO HAVE HEALTH AND VITALITY.
And now they have accessories and "off road" upgrades to their walk-replacer-machines. And we can think of no better way to spend our hard earned income than on yet another "something" to destroy ourselves and our health?
I won't even dignifiy their website advancement in the search engines with a link. If you would like to see their site that bad, have at it by doing a search yourself. It won't take long, and you'll hate yourself in the morning for wasting time there.
Get ready for a national marketing campaign (tv, radio, print) and a new dealer to open in your area if they haven't opened already. Note the healthy-looking, attractive individuals that they have selected to ride their machines. Do you think they have gotten to that level in their modeling and television presence experience and had gotten the call-back to be in a commercial because they geniunely like and use Segway's every day? No. They are in shape because they DON'T live like that. Be sure to not run down there to see the latest models as quickly as possible. Your life depends on it.
Have a strong day,
bravo out
The Segway replaces a perfectly normal and valuable expenditure of energy known as "walking." The term is getting foggier and foggier in people's minds as to what that type of exercise even is. It involves bending the legs at the knees, hips, ankles and placing one foot in front of the other to move oneself forward through life. People rarely will get up and walk for exercise, much less run. And now we have yet another reason to make even walking a "thing of the past." We have enough lazy people, why not make it easier for more to be lazy and increase that segment of our society to the point where they overburden our health care and insurance systems.
Some young student to their parents this holiday season: "OOOOH! Mom and dad! Can i get a Segway for Christmas??!?"
Parents: "No son, we'd like to see you live to be at least 25. We'd like to remind you of a recent popular saying: 'WWJD?' Which means 'What Would Jesus Drive?' You might have seen this on bumper stickers, hats, shirts, bracelets, and many other fine merchandise items available in stores everywhere. Do you think Jesus would be caught dead riding a Segway around the middle eastern flippin' wilderness in sandals and a toga? What kind of example would THAT be?? No, he would be saying, 'I've come to give you life and give you life more abundantly and hold you accountable which means you have to use your God-given blessings of walking and running to receive this abundant life or I will pimp-slap some of you stupid b*tches and keep moving to the next town. I'm here to represent.' So son, head off to bed and when you come down tomorrow morning to open your thanksgiving presents you better be giving thanks for your health because so many in our society do not have it and try to come up with a new list for Christmas. It's only 20-some-odd days away."
You can even attach it to your vehicle such that when you arrive at the mall, you don't even have to walk if you didn't find a spot close to the door! Just hop on the Segway and ride til your little weak heart's content.
These types of companies should have a Health Care System Burden Tax placed on them to offset the damage they are doing in broad stroke to our citizens by marketing and pushing these types of products through slick marketing and branding.
* Yes, our health care system will collapse. Do not be surprised.
* Yes, you will be a victim. Change your lifestyle now - even if you only do it little by little.
* Yes, it will be the downfall of the greatest country in the world that was BUILT ON hard work and fortitude. God save us.
Just yesterday a report on the cable news came out saying that even though American's are constantly bombarded with the need to exercise even MODERATELY for 30 minutes 4 or 5 times a week, we are still not taking action. And then one day, our health care system will be overwhelmed and YOU and I will have to carry the burden of an entire generation (if not multiple generations) of effortless people who have created this for themselves and now we have to pay higher premiums for that. But thats fair right?
Hoping against all hope, we can pray that the cost of entry for a Segway will be a barrier that many will not want to cross. Weighing the options between, "hm, should i spent thousands of dollars to not walk and then have that lead to even many more thousands of dollars in health care costs for myself in the future because I have been so lazy?" or "you know what, should I spend money on something that I can do naturally and for FREE?"
I'm just waiting for the Segway advertisement comparable to a car dealer's. At a car dealer they want you to trade in your old car for a new one! But at a Segway dealer? What can you trade in for one of those? "Come down this weekend to your local Segway shop! Trade in your legs for a two wheeled machine! Don't worry about your legs you won't need them anymore - we offer free amputations on site! Yes, you're a bit closer to being Darth Vader by not having any legs, but he was a Lord among men. You can be too. Plus, all of you lazy people out there are overwhelming the fast growing Restless Leg Syndrome society and we need to help keep their numbers down as they have grown too quickly and cannot handle all of those individuals that are now claming to have restless legs. Please, help us help them with a $1,000 rebate towards your Segway today. Call 1-800-What-Legs-Who-Needs-Them? for the location of your nearest dealer."
THE ONLY CASE A SEGWAY SHOULD BE USED IS IN THE CASE OF SOMEONE WHO IS PHYSICALLY INCAPACITATED AND CANNOT UTILIZE THEIR BODILY / MOTOR FUNCTIONS.
Perhaps someone with Mutiple Sclerosis. ALS. CP. Disabled War Veterans. etc. could benefit best. NOT THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN BLESSED ENOUGH TO HAVE HEALTH AND VITALITY.
And now they have accessories and "off road" upgrades to their walk-replacer-machines. And we can think of no better way to spend our hard earned income than on yet another "something" to destroy ourselves and our health?
I won't even dignifiy their website advancement in the search engines with a link. If you would like to see their site that bad, have at it by doing a search yourself. It won't take long, and you'll hate yourself in the morning for wasting time there.
Get ready for a national marketing campaign (tv, radio, print) and a new dealer to open in your area if they haven't opened already. Note the healthy-looking, attractive individuals that they have selected to ride their machines. Do you think they have gotten to that level in their modeling and television presence experience and had gotten the call-back to be in a commercial because they geniunely like and use Segway's every day? No. They are in shape because they DON'T live like that. Be sure to not run down there to see the latest models as quickly as possible. Your life depends on it.
Have a strong day,
bravo out
